Monday, 4 July 2016

Terrorist frees hostages after they recite dialogues from Shirish Kunder’s movie

A gunman freed hostages after they were able to narrate dialogues from Joker, a science fiction comedy film directed by Shirish Kunder.

The incident occurred yesterday when a terrorist barged into a restaurant and took the customers and staff members hostage.  After closing all possible exit points, he asked them to recite verses from Quran as per the standard procedure followed by terrorists across the globe.

But when they failed to comply, he menacingly walked towards a customer sitting in a corner and said, “This is not done.  You have to recite something otherwise I will kill you.”

To this he said, “Kala ghaz kala gad gad gad, boli buzh boli bud bud bud.”

“What was that?” asked the bewildered terrorist.

“Shreyas Talpade’s dialogue from a movie I recently watched.”

“Which movie?”

“Joker by Shirish Kunder.”

“And you watched the entire movie?”


“Who are you?” the terrorist asked him with tear-filled eyes.

“I did my mechanical engineering from Lovely Professional University and I am currently working with…”

“No, you are an angel.”

“Like Taher Shah?”

“No, like a real angel.  Go, you are free.”

The other hostages learned the trick by then and narrated the same line to the terrorist and were allowed to leave the restaurant.

“Can we go as well?” asked the staff members.

“No!  Let’s watch the movie.”

“Reham, O thou terrorist,” they cried but the cruel terrorist did not pay heed to their plea and mercilessly played one after another Shirish Kunder movie and kept muttering, “What a brilliant director!”  Finally, at 3 am, he left the restaurant leaving everyone devastated.

Once the news broke out, the needle of suspicion pointed towards the director of the movie, as many claim his movies can only be watched at gunpoint, which, according to them, encouraged him to take this drastic step.  However, later the police released a sketch of the gunman, whose physical appearance did not resemble a tsunami survivor, and hence the possibility of Mr. Kunder’s involvement was ruled out.

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