Monday, 30 November 2015

Salman Khan to receive Gyanpeeth Award for Twitter literature

Pearls of wisdom

Renowned painter, humanitarian, and actor Salman Khan will be conferred with the prestigious Gyanpeeth award for his contribution to contemporary Twitter literature, the Times of India group announced today at a joint press conference with Ministry of Culture.

He has accomplished the feat by trouncing some of the stalwarts of the genre the likes of Chetan Bhagat, Shobhaa De, KRK, et al., who have created masterpieces on Twitter over the past few years, e.g., Chhota Chetan’s tweet, “What do historians do? I am genuinely curious. This happened. Then this happened. Then this. Ok work done for the day.” is considered by many as one of the finest literary works post independence.  However, as the guideline clearly suggests that the award cannot be given for a single piece of work, Bhai’s collage of artworks on the microblogging platform proved to be the winner.

We asked the jury members what sets him apart from the rest, and they said, “His range.  He has written about various issues on Twitter from world tourism to Yakub Memon judgement, even though he had absolutely no clue who Yakub Memon was.  Now, that’s called creative imagination.”

Flipping through the printouts of his tweets, one of the jury members said, “When we read some of his tweets, during the evaluation process, we realized that he puts his soul into each of his works.  His tweets not only have an aesthetic value but also send a strong message to the audience.  For example, look at this creation.  This is not a mere tweet, this is a gift to human race, and see how the audience has connected with it.” he pointed towards a tweet that read, “Hi,” to emphasize his point.

“Not just that, he has also invented a new language to communicate with the world that challenges the narrow confines of conventional forms of expression, much like how Shakespeare approached his work on a smaller scale.  We have already set up a team to conduct research on the history and origin of the language, and we have declared his tweets as national treasure in order to protect and conserve them,” he beheld the tweets one more time with profound admiration as he concluded.

Meanwhile, a festive mood ensued in virtual world as millions of unidentified siblings of the beloved Bhai celebrated the news on various platforms with usual frenzy.  A new Facebook page – ‘Gyanpeeth Bhai’ graced humanity, which garnered 16-million likes till reports last came in.  The contributors have listed all his accomplishments on the page and also the ones he has been unfairly deprived of, which include:
1.    Nobel Peace Prize for his endeavor to improve Indo-Pak ties in Bajrangi Bhaijaan.
2.    Bharat Ratna for excellence in the field of music in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam.
3.    Godfrey Phillips Lifetime Achievement Award for outstanding acts of bravery in various roles.
They have also urged the government to declare him the national bird for his peacock dance in Maine Pyar Kiya.
So You Think You Can Dance

1 comment:

  1. He also gets Grammy award for best dancer