Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Narendra Modi echoes Aamir Khan’s sentiments, says he is already living outside India because of intolerance

Aamir Khan and Narendra Modi discussing intolerance

After Aamir Khan made a startling revelation that he is contemplating on leaving the country, and was subsequently lambasted by everyone including his grocery shop owner, he finally found support from an unexpected quarter, as Prime Minister Narendra Modi stated that the reason behind his frequent foreign trips is the same wicked intolerance.

This came as a major blow to those who had already written articles or prepared arguments for talk shows holding him responsible for an environment of unrest, especially on Twitter, which is worst affected during any crisis (experts are predicting that even World War III could be fought on Twitter).  Now they have to redo everything and accuse him of shirking responsibilities when the nation is reeling under a crisis.

We asked Mr. Modi, as the baggage handlers were loading his suitcase into Air India One, if he runs away from the situation then who would reassure the citizens of the country that everything is under control, and he said, “Chetan Bhagat and Anupam Kher.  They have taken it upon themselves to prove something that we are not fully aware of.”

“But things were quite pleasant initially when I assumed charge as the Prime Minister,” he went back to a reflective mode as he continued, “The country was still recovering from what had just happened.  No one was criticizing me, no one was raising any question, which gave me a lot of confidence and I made a couple of extra promises to people.”

“But one day, while I was sitting on a park bench, reading ‘101 Manmohan Singh jokes’ with a reassuring smile, someone called, ‘Feku,’ in a hushed tone.  I turned back but couldn’t see anyone.”

“Later when I logged into Twitter to share a Rahul Gandhi cartoon, I realized that the term had spread like wildfire on internet.  It was annoying.  I mean, what’s the point of having a 56-inch chest if you cannot use it anywhere other than in your speeches?  Unfortunately, if you are not Ra.One then it would be really difficult for you to enter the virtual world and beat up people.  So, I decided to stay out of the argument and left for Brazil.  Yes, FIFA World Cup was going on during that time and I watched a couple of matches as well.  But when I came back, I noticed that people had coined more term to troll me, and I immediately left for US.”

“Since then, whenever I come to India, I realize that I am responsible for everything including kids not scoring enough marks in their exams.  I have become a refugee.  I am visiting countries I did not know existed before I became Prime Minister.  I don’t even use Twitter anymore.  I have given the ID and password to my driver who logs into my account occasionally to wish everyone on DIwali and New Year.”

Aamir Khan in his statement also said that his wife Kiran Rao feared the safety of their children.  To which Narendra Modi said, “Just imagine if I had kids.  People would have said, “Woh ja raha hai Feku ka ladka,” he looked into the distant sky as he started climbing the stairs.

We tried to contact Aamir Khan for his reaction but he was taking suggestions from a few intellectuals, except Taslima Nasrin, about a tolerant country where he can live without any fear, and hence was not available for comment.

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