Sunday, 27 May 2018

IPL Cricket Commentary...

Published this one on my old WordPress blog.  I am writing a post after a long time. So, forgot how to ask people to click a link. Sorry :D!  Anyway, please read it here...

Tuesday, 22 November 2016

Twitter suspends account after it couldn’t find a single tweet from user on demonetisation

Twitter India has suspended an account for violating its terms of use.  The decision was taken by the social networking company after it couldn’t find a single tweet on demonetization from the handle.

Ever since the government has imposed a ban on currency notes of higher denomination, every single individual has tweeted about how it’s going to impact our economy.  Some tweeted in favor of the decision while the rest criticized it.  But strangely, the user of the suspicious account did not tweet anything on the burning issue.  A further probe revealed that the same user avoided other issues in the past as well, like intolerance, odd-even formula, or even porn ban when the whole nation came together as one to protest against the ban.  Twitter had no option but to label this account as a bot and delete it.

Speaking to The Unreal Times, Rajesh Bhalla, the owner of the account, said, “I did not realize a little negligence on my part would cost me my account.”

“But why did you do this?  You had a Twitter account for heaven’s sake!  As a responsible citizen you should’ve voiced your opinion.  Why do we have Twitter accounts for?” we sought a clarification from the offender.

“I don’t know.  I don’t have much knowledge of Indian economy.”

“You don’t have to be an economist to understand if the bank queues are long.  Many explained the long-term impacts of demonetization on our GDP with graphs and pie-charts, including those who write movie reviews.  You could’ve at least tweeted about your own experience, or just retweeted a random tweet of Arvind Kejriwal, because that’s all he has been tweeting about for the past few days.”

“Yes but I don’t follow politicians.”

“What!  Whom do you follow then?  Barkha Dutt, Rajdeep Sardesai, Sagarika Ghose?”

“No, Salman Khan, Virat Kohli,…”

“Oh, so you retweet ‘Hi,” while completely ignoring the intellectuals on Twitter who enlighten us on larger issue.”


“Like…umm, why Hindu festivals are better than Muslim festivals or vice versa.”

“Oh ok.”

“So what would you do without a Twitter account now?  Your life is over.”

“Don’t know.  Maybe I will go home and watch Bigg Boss.”

“Shame!  You are a disgrace to the nation.  Go and watch your stupid reality show.”

“Ok, can I go now?  The show will start in half an hour.”

“Goodness gracious, what time it starts?”

Meanwhile, the incident has shaken Twitter India and it has now decided to periodically review accounts using human judgment and technology.  Sources revealed that it will suspend more accounts on similar grounds in future.

Also published here

Sunday, 25 September 2016

Raj Thackeray watches Ae Dil Hai Mushkil trailer, asks entire cast and crew to leave India within 48 hours

After threatening Ae Dil Hai Mushkil’s Fawad Khan to leave the country within 48 hours on Friday, MNS chief Raj Tackeray today has asked the entire cast and crew to leave the country within 48 hours.

Mr. Tackeray, after issuing the ultimatum to Fawad Khan, realized he had reacted in haste and decided to watch the trailer of the movie to understand the situation better.  Hence, he locked himself in his room and secretly played the trailer on YouTube.

Two and half minutes later, when he came out of his room, achieving nirvana, he looked visibly shaken and refrained from discussing the experience with anyone.  He, however, asked his workers to issue a statement, demanding the ouster of the entire cast and crew of the movie from India within 48 hours.

“Movies like Ae Dil Hai Mushkil are the reason why people are losing faith in humanity.  Raj couldn’t sleep for three days after watching the trailer and tried to figure out whether it was about a love triangle or a futile attempt to revive Aishwarya Rai’s acting career,” Shalini Thackeray, wife of MNS chief Raj Thackeray, said in a press conference.

Shalini, who is the general secretary of MNS, told us that their Chitrapat wing has issued a 48-hour ultimatum to the entire cast and crew of the movie to leave the country.

“We would also issue letters to the producers asking them on what ground they hired Aishwarya Rai when there are ample number of actors in the country and struggling to find an opportunity.”

“Would you like to specify a name?’ we asked.

“Her husband!”

“But Aishwarya Rai is playing a female character and Abhishek…”

“With a bit of make-up, he could easily play the character,” she asserted.

We asked Raj Thackeray what MNS would do if they refuse to leave the country and he looked at us blankly for a second before the trailer he’d watched flashed through his mind, “Our workers will push them out before they release the movie,” he screamed on the verge of breaking down.

However, Mumbai Police has given an assurance to the production house and said, “Anyone who has a valid document issued by the Government of India need not worry.  If Bangladeshi immigrants can live here illegally without any document then why cannot they?”